My constellation

The legend of Douglas the Great Shark Wrangler is a traditional belief long held by many people. Douglas had his humble beginnings as a fisherman in the Mediterranean Sea. He worked for long hours, but it paid well enough to support his simple, mustached life. Yet he could sense that something was missing from this life. The fear of dying a simple fisherman kept him awake late at night. When he looked in the mirror he saw a mustached man destined for greatness. He was determined to seize the opportunity to become something more when it was presented to him.

The opportunity came, as many do, on a stormy day at sea. Brutal hail tore the sails of the fishing vessel to shreds, leaving Douglas and his three companions stranded in shark-infested waters. Where most men would see only the opportunity to be torn to shreds by massive shark jaws, Douglas saw his opportunity to become legendary. Using the belts of his companions to create shark harnesses, extra rope from the ship to make his reins, and a bucket for his chariot, Douglas boldly jumped into the deathtrap awaiting him in the ocean. With only his bare hands and sheer manliness he was able to harness two of the sharks and sail towards the stormy horizon, triumphant.

His beltless companions tried to find this shark-drawn chariot for months, but to no avail. Rumor has it that Douglas eventually became bored of this mustached lifestyle, sailing the open seas behind his two carnivorous friends. With no manlier accomplishment left to fulfill on this earth, he trained the sharks to fly and set off for another world. You can now see his constellation sailing across the night sky, hoping to one day meet Orion and his hunting dogs in an epic duel.

Saturday the 14th

I have 3 papers due next week (Wednesday, Thursday, Friday) and 2 tests (one Monday, and one Friday.)
What did I do to prepare this weekend?
Came down to my grandparents' house with my mom and sister. Helped put up their Christmas tree. Played cards while watching White Christmas with them.Watched the football game with my grandpa. Dreamed. Opened a textbook for a few minutes and let it sit on my lap. Laughed way too much. Parted my hair. Decided that this has to be the best Christmas ever.
In a word: recharged.
Gotta finish this semester..

Baby kosher pickles and painkillers...

Must be a Wednesday night. Must be that time of year again.

Paper update (12:19 PM, 20 hours, 11 minutes until draft is due)

Working on the research, still just have a title down on paper.
But I decided that I really want to be one of the astronauts that goes to Mars if/when we go. 9 month flight each way, 18 months living on the surface until it would be positioned to fly home. Sounds AWESOME. I need to get into astronaut shape. That probably includes shrinking a few inches.

Quick!

I need a draft of my 8 page issues paper by Tuesday morning.
I haven't started, but I just came up with an awesome title.
"Space: The Vital Frontier"
Excellent, no?

P.S. Pop tastes better from a glass bottle.

A swarm of awkward turtles

This is how my life goes.

Friday night, pretty bored because...well because I live in Provo and don't go out much. But at least it was pizza night, right? How much less awkward a situation could there be than getting some pizza and hanging around the apartment?
Or so I thought.
It was about 5:30 and neither of my roomies had said if they want to go in on some pizza. So I go out and ask- one already had some frozen pizza and the other told me that he would split a pizza with me. Well...the whole point of pizza night is eating way too much pizza and sometimes having some left over for Saturday morning, or whatever that time of day you wake up on Saturday is called. I informed him of some excellent, cheap pizza deals around town, but to no avail. He keeps asking if I am going to eat a pizza by myself. The answer remained yes, yes I will eat a whole pizza on my own.Awkward turtle
Ordered my pizza online just to say I have. Plus, I am inherently awkward on the telephone, so this seemed like a way to cancel out the previously mentioned awkward encounter. That was fun.
Was driving down Canyon to go pick up the pizza when this car cuts me off and then slows down. And then stops. On the road. I don't care if your turn signal is on, you can't really do that (outside of Gallatin.) I was listening to The Dead Weather CD I had in my car from the summer and feeling pretty generally BA rolling in my Toyota Matrix. So I depressed the horn and was quickly reminded how nonthreatening the horn on the Matrix can be. So I switched lanes, flooring the gas pedal, and was quickly reminded how nonthreatening the engine of the Matrix can be. I turned down the volume on the music. Awkward.

 But how bout that fuel economy?

Pulled into Pizza Hut, gave them my name, and they gave me my pizza. The guy even pronounced my last name correctly! (This helped me to avoid the awkward situation where you don't know if you should bother to correct this person you may never see again or not.) Gave the guy my card, he swiped it, and then flicked it at me. This guy had the kind of attitude I would probably have if Pizza Hut had ever called me back about my application and given me the job. You know, the  ...

"Hey, I know this is a low paying job! Definitely not a career! Let me flip your card back to you so that you can see how much it doesn't suck my soul to stand here and serve you $6.99 pizza!"   

...kind of attitude.

Except.........he threw it too hard and my credit card landed on the floor. The quick deflation of his ego blew my receipt off the counter too. Just kidding. But my card was seriously on the floor, and we were both feeling awkward. I picked it up, muttered that it was okay, took my pizza, and headed for the door to....

"Um, could you actually sign this receipt for me?" I could hear the fear in his voice. You throw the credit card of a 6 foot 200 something thug on the floor, and then you make him walk back to the counter to sign a receipt for a 7 dollar pizza?

 Above: Thug.

 

You know what I did? Well...I turned around and signed it. And then I waked away. 

It wouldn't be unhealthy enough to just get a pizza, I had to run to the chevron and get some Mountain Dew. It was Friday night, and I knew it would be a miracle to turn left onto Canyon. Alas, the lights were in my favor and I could turn left! There was just some chick in the suicide lane waiting to turn left into Pizza Hut. So I waited for her to go, and she waited for me to go. She waved me on, and I inched forward at the exact  second she did. Pause. I decided to just go for it before I lost my turn to turn left, as she thought the exact same thing. Slight hesitation, then I gunned it. Again, I made my Matrix give all it had to accelerate 0-30. The music got turned down again.

I really should have just turned on an album more fitting for my car. Like Hannah Montana.

I thought the awkward situations were done for the night until I came to the crucial decision in the Chevron parking lot. The same question that I have faced doubtless times in my short life.  

"Is it sillier to pay for a $1.58 bottle of Dew with a debit card, or with quarters?"

I have no idea what the answer to this great mystery is, and I can only pray that someday I will find a solution.  I decided to go with quarters this time. Silly? Yes. Moreso than a debit card? I already told you, I don't know!

And then I ate my pizza, drank my dew, and suddenly....

...suddenly, all is well in the world.

 

 

I feel like a number

Who knows why, but I decided to try my hand at a blog. It turns out that I already started one a few months ago and have never done anything with it. Alas, here I am.
Had a Russian quiz this morning. Too many new verbs about computers. I had to be creative when I couldn't remember how to say something (we were supposed to say "....and he restarted his computer." Couldn't remember the verb for "restart" but I did remember "turn on" and "turn off" so I said "...and he turned off and turned on his computer." Except I may have mixed them up, so the poor guy might have "turned on and turned off his computer."
Watched part of the Yankees victory parade on the internet. It feels good to be a winner, I don't even care who slams on me for being a Yankees fan. It must be a very bitter life to be a Cleveland sports fan, so I can understand the anger.
It is funny how the little things can make or break your day.
For example, last night I got Arby's for dinner, and that made my night. (They didn't give me the Arby's sauce I asked for, so that broke my night.)
Another example: After my quiz I really felt wiped out and kind of wanted to go home. I came to the library to work on my paper, and I got one of those sweet individual desks in the no shizone. And I didn't work on my paper. Tonight is Friday night pizza night, day made.
Notice a trend on how good food is usually the best part of my day?

I would best describe this expression as: "The smug joy of having an awesome, spacious desk at the library while everybody else is crowded at tables facing awkward strangers who often decide the library is a wonderful place for groping slash loudly sharing stupid stories." Also, "Thinking about pizza."