Don't Forget Fathers!

Happy Father's Day!

Notice Michael off being Michael

I want to start out with a disclaimer. This quote is from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland from a worldwide leadership training on 2009:

"...we talk about the pattern, the ideal, of marriage and family when we know full well that not everyone now lives in that ideal circumstance. It is precisely because many don’t have, or perhaps have never even seen, that ideal and because some cultural forces steadily move us away from that ideal, that we speak about what our Father in Heaven wishes for us in His eternal plan for His children. Individual adaptations have to be made as marital status and family circumstances differ. But all of us can agree on the pattern as it comes from God, and we can strive for its realization the best way we can."

If you've lived in the Western world anytime in the last century, but especially in my lifetime, you've come across someone who was offended by the notion that we live in a patriarchy where "women are expected to only be wives and mothers." And when put this way, I certainly hope the person was offended! What that says is that "Men need to go be something more important than women. Women are only suited to be mothers and wives."
Something more important than raising a family? Like.....what? Becoming a giant in corporate America?

You know my feelings on this one

That kind of thinking is offensive, backwards, and wrong, but not in the way it is usually called such. The common response says that if men can go off and do great things, women shouldn't be tied down to the archaic roles of wives and mothers. They should be able to do these more important things that men do!

This is where we are backwards. We're comparing apples to oranges. Men get careers and fame and glory, while women get parenthood. The truth is that the most important duty for a man is to be a husband and father. 

If you're a Christian, think of God. He is the Creator of everything, He runs the universe, He is omnipotent, omniscient, and all-powerful. Nothing we can attain in this life could equal His greatness and importance. He is called many names in the Bible, all representative of His power. And yet, when Jesus Christ taught his disciples how to pray, how did he tell them to address God? 

"Our Father, who art in Heaven..."

Of all the accolades we could pay this supreme power, the way we are taught to address Him is as our Father. Now tell me, what do you think He would say if He heard someone teaching "Men get to do X, women are only mothers."

The quote is important. The picture can only end in a dad with a broken nose.

In 1995, the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (or "Mormons" if we're being conservative with keystrokes) issued a "Proclamation to the World." Herein we can find quotes further expressing the importance of being a husband and father.

"In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father...

"The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force....

"Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents [not "mothers"] have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan."

The religious teachings behind, the statistics on the importance of having a father in the home are significant and astounding. Fatherhood.org  has compiled the results of many sociological studies on the impact of fatherless homes. Just a few:

In a study of INTERPOL crime statistics of 39 countries, it was found that single parenthood ratios were strongly correlated with violent crimes. This was not true 18 years ago.

Father involvement in schools is associated with the higher likelihood of a student getting mostly A's. This was true for fathers in biological parent families, for stepfathers, and for fathers heading single-parent families.

A study with 441 college students revealed that a poor parental bond with one’s father was highly predictive of depression, a well-known predictor of alcohol abuse and related problems for both females and males.

Like so many things in this life, our ability to be fathers is sometimes out of our control. I'll refer you to Elder Holland's quote at the beginning of this post and challenge you all to strive to see how you can step up and be a father. (Or a mother, child, brother, or sister.)

For all of us, I think an important step one is to stop pretending that there is some greater duty for men than that of a husband and father.